Of changed perspectives!

Wow! I seem to have transformed from a person who blogs about general things to a stereotypical rambler who troll the vast spaces of Internet. It has been a transformation and I may still get back to being what I was earlier but for now there are a lot of things to tell, well pen down as I believe there exists no regular follower of this blog.

There were times when I used to wonder how can one settle down in life, in every sense of the word. A Family, a stable job and probably end to education. I thought I was too young and too ambitious for all of that. I am the conquerer, the person who just tries to go from one thing to another, winning it all. But things have changed, tastes have changed, perspectives have changed.

I dont know if its the factor of age that has finally brought some so called wisdom or just the magic a girl can do in your life, I’m a very different person from what I was even two years ago. I no longer yearn for the latest and the best of electronic gadgets, I don’t think BMW is the only car that I’ll ever own and most of all, I don’t think romantic movies are a piece of crap.

May be its the marriage that is so close by or may be its the feeling of finally finding someone whom I want to spend the rest of life with, I want to be with her more than anything else. Career actually has taken a second priority and the elusive work-life balance, which I din’t give too hoots about before, suddenly has become very important. What I’m surprised about is that, Its not even that we haven’t stayed together for long now. We literally spent 24×7 in each others company for the past two years but I still miss her in the last one month I’ve been away from her and our engagement on May 5th, seems very far to be with her.

I want to be in a job that makes me be with her and keep telling her that she should also take up a job that lets her do so. I want to settle down in a city, have a happy family and share all the romantic moments with her. It suddenly feels all so nice and good, to be looking forward for the wedded life. Before I met her, whenever I watched a romantic movie, it was always a faceless girl, a hidden angel whom I could imagine my romantic moments with, but now its her and its amazing despite all the differences between us, how I feel we are so meant to be together.

It’s amazing how all my posts these days turn out to be about her, but I meant to write so many other things. Some other day, some other time. After all for till November when I’ll be officially her wedded husband, there are so many lonely nights to spend. So many thoughts to be penned. Adios!

I’m in love…

There it goes, out to the wide world in public, there is no denying it. It’s just a wonderful feeling to have someone to trust, someone to care for, someone to hug and someone to just lie down next to and forget everything else exists in this world. And I against all odds have managed to find the most amazing woman on earth and get her as my girlfriend.

On one fine sunny afternoon in London, I had a discussion with a friend about how love is not just finding the right person for you but also about knowing about your needs from your partner. I often went back to this point and wondered how the relationship with NB has been an eyeopener on my needs. It was such a lucky co-incidence that I managed to find that girl who changed the entire perspective of my life. I always thought the line “nanni make kotthaga chupe ammayi kavali” line from Bommarillu was so cliched, but those are just golden worlds I tell you.

Another thing that I have realized in a relationship is that cliches are cliches for a reason. I have made fun of many people doing cliched stuff but I admit, having romantic candle light dinner in your room on new years eve and toasting with champagne at the stroke of 12 is awesome. Walking on the bank of thames hand-in-hand and teasing her because she wanted a dolly ice-cream is out of the world. Planning an elaborate outing only to cancel everything at the last minute and snuggling under the blanket while watching a horror movie when NB tries to close her eyes and hugs me tight is just to die for. 

NB has also changed a lot many things about me for good. Her cute little issues with the slippers I wear to the face wash that I use just would make me feel so special. Its amazing how she can have a perfectly logical answer for any problem of mine and possess such prudence when I start panicking and yet change into this cute little girl when necessary. Blissful are the moments spent in planning for the future, be it a small little thing like an item to decorate the house with to huge grand wedding plans. 

I can go on and on about how cute, intelligent, awesome and amazing NB is but the point is she oh-so just perfect for me and I have never been happier in life. Sure there are small issues, but what is the spice in life without a mirch here or there. NB for when you are reading this, get this, you are the best ever decision of my life and I couldn’t wait to take the next step forward. Be there for me always!! Love you loads and loads. 

The only constant…

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Somebody sometime ago said “The only thing that is constant is change itself”.  True why does it matter or so I thought till now. Then it hit me. I actually found a plausible answer to a question that has been plaguing me for some time now. A question that I had briefly discussed here. What makes one happy?. The answer is change, not just any change but a positive change. Expected or unexpected, but in a very positive direction. An improvement if you may.

It was interesting to get three different perspectives of this on one single evening. Two from very good friends and one from my own life. First dear friend is a graduate student in one of the good universities in US and his view was valid. He said despite a dull boring graduate life with no growth to look forward for the next few years and no salary hikes to expect, the thing that kept him interested was discovering new problems to work on every single day. That gave him the rush required to push through life which was devoid of all personal stuff including girl friends.

The second thought arose from my own experience. I got bored doing the same day to day stuff at job. Moved on to pursue masters in management, got bored of that in a while and then life took a whole new turn. It got all the more exciting and every day was new in one sense or the another. Last perspective was from a very good friend again. Her life is full of changes and boy they are all mostly bad. It is in these times when one wishes that monotony is much better than such changes. I sincerely pray that her life gets back to normal.

Ruminating on these different ideas, I end up thinking very philosophically, or one may even call it religious but there does seem to that something that changes times for people, creates experiences out of thin air and keeps an organism ticking be it the primal desire for food to the more sophisticated need for money or power. Call it whatever, precisely when I was thinking about all this when I came across this book in tamil whose title translates to “Secrets of Romance” (To all you dirty minds.. it’s not Kamasutra n its not anywhere near about sex)

The first article in the book goes on to describe how small changes, small surprises keeps the bond of marriage going on for ages and ages. It says, it is that small appreciation, that small break from routine for an unplanned outing, that small unexpected gift, that small burst of love and ever present respect for each other holds the bond of marriage and makes it enjoyable through one’s life. I haven’t experienced that part of life to comment on it, but looking at my parents makes me agree completely to this school of thought.

Along these lines came the thought that, what exactly people mean when they say “stay young at heart” ?. I believe staying young means being curious, curious of new things that bring about positive change. That passion for change seems to be driving force behind me. I’m not sure if I will ever conclusively have a reason for happiness but change seems to be definitely among the top reasons and in some strange butterfly theory fashion it seems to connect to everything else.

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