Tough Luck

I entered my office in fifth floor of a gargantuan sky scrapper in New York city, to  be greeted by Julia, my crush, with a big smile on her face. Thanking God for such a beautiful start of the day, I proceeded to my room and started with my work.

Half an hour into the work, I felt someone watching from my door. It was Julia again.”Hey John, got to speak sometime with you. Can you come to the tea closet now. I did of course follow her like a trained dog.

“Ya. Wassup?”

“Hey can you accompany me to Las Vegas this weekend”

Now let me make this point clear. I was highly elated about the call thats one. But Julia into gambling was something I never thought about her.

“Hey you wanna gamble? I thought you weren’t that kind you know”

“No,no John. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t gamble for fun. I contribute to an orphanage with the money I earn from gambling”

“Wow, thats so nice, but why do you want me to accompany you”

“You know you are a kinda a lucky guy. People say that if they have a particularly  difficult problem to solve, they look at your face and they stumble upon the solution quite easily”

Now this was something I never was aware of and having such a reputation was good, too good infact.

“Okay I will come, but I don’t believe in luck”

“Just come, we shall have a ball of a time”

The next day, we proceeded to Vegas. Sure she played some games and won at the beginning but later the luck changed and she lost close to four grands in the gamble.With full of remorse we walked out of the casino when we noticed a thug following her. He tried to snatch her bag away.

Julia is a strong girl and she hit him black and blue and pushed him against a lamp pole. Only after the blood oozed out of his head we did realize that he was dead. A police car pulled up soon enough and we were taken into custody.

In the prison cell

“Shit, I thought you were lucky. See what your luck has landed us into. I am gonna be executed tomorrow for the murder”

“I told you I dint believe in luck. It was you who forced me into coming”

Suddenly the cell door opened and the warden walked in.

” Sorry for the delay madam, but the identity of the thug you killed was just confirmed. He was a popular criminal in the hit lists of interpol and was wanted for various murders. Further the U.S Government had announced a reward of $2 million for anybody who would get him alive or dead. So if you please come out and collect your reward money we would be most happy. Sorry for the inconvenience  caused.”

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Baby’s day out

Comfortably in the womb of a caring mother,

there rested two fine babies.

Little were their movements but

they shared the space with a heavenly love.

It was time for them to face the world,

when one asked another

“Why should we go out,

I love it here. Can’t we be here for eternity”

So did the other reply,

“A fresh new world awaits us,

that which is more free and more challenging

for us to prove our mettle, come lets face it together”

Soon did the cramps happen and the

babies came one after the another.

They cried for the loss of a protected haven,

but the soothing voice of mother put them into blissful heaven.

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Day of Interviews

Interviews are de-facto when it comes to placements and we had our share of mock interviews today.Now the thing of primal importance is its highly unofficially official, meaning our seniors whom we interact day to day with conduct these interviews and come on man you don’t realize the seriousness when they sit in the panel.

My interview started of with the usual.Snippets go down.

Interviewer : Tell me about yourselves.

Me : I am a guy who loves perfection,fun and pressure. Given a situation I’d love to think laterally…blah….blah….blah….(I thought this was a good start)

Int : Hey stop.. You should start with your name,state hobbies such start, given an opportunity to brag you don’t miss out do you?

Me:(WTF I forgot that!!) Sorry, My name is Vigneswaralu, I am from Tamil Nadu. I love reading,blogging, shuttle…………….

Int: Okay, enough. Tell me something about your projects

Me: I did a project at BHEL,Trichy involving CNC programming of a HP bypass valve machining….

Int: Stop,I meant your other project, the one you did here at colllege,the optimisation stuff.

Me:(God I am Dead!!!) Oh yeah, It involved in optimizing the machining parameters for turning operation where we formulated the equation based on a mathematical model and solved it using Mathematica software and we also tried writing our own genetic algorithm(shit why the hell did i ever mention this word, I knew the senior was one genetic algo fundoo.. damn)

Int: Genetic algorithm!!!! Tell me about it.

Me: Genetic algorithm involves in  mutation, trans location……..

Int: Stop, Think I am a lay man explain it in the language I can understand..

Me:(oh F***) Okay Imagine there is a couple, when they mate a child is born it has the characteristics of both male and felmale. This forms the basics of Gen Algo……………….

Int:(Finally he decided to drop it) Tell  me your fav subjects.

Me: OR,TOM,DOME,Opti

Int:So you like OR

Me:(I thought I just said so!!!, wtf these interviewers will never improve) Yes

Int : You know the scheduling problem right. Give me the formula for average queue length

Me:Yes(and I wrote it down)

Int: Okay, You said you like TOM and DOME, can you define what is broaching.

Me:(Now how the heck is TOM,DOME and broaching connected, I thought they were machine tech but then who tells these fellows) ya, broaching involves in successive removal of material from workpiece………….blah..blah..blah…

Int: Hmm, thats okay do you know anything about thermodynamics?

Me:(Of course I do,I did a whole god damned paper on it) Yes

Int:So what is the zeroth law of thermodynamics

Me:(This much scene for this question!!! Huh!!!) Oh yeah, When three bodies A,B,C are present………..

Int: Can you tell me why they named it zeroth law of thermodynamics?

Me:(Seriously man, this question left me baffled. How do I know which dumb ass named it  as zeroth law as if I give a damn!!!) Oh might be they did put this law in words only after they formulated the first three laws even though they knew it implicitly and since this law so basic they named it zeroth law.

Int:This was what I was expecting.

Me:(But I dint expect you were such a dumb ass) Thank you.

Int:(Looks up at my list of preferred companies and) So can you tell me why you selected those?

Me: Yes sir, I love to make my life in tech company and selected M&M,Bajaj,Kenna for that. I also like being in R&D area.

Int: But Oracle and Future first aren’t tech companies.

Me: Oh yeah,I would also add on to my safety a soft and management company.

Int: Management!!!,If you meant future first as management company,we are sorry its about trading,shares and stuff.

Me:(Now again whats the difference,beign B.Techs a management job is characterised by job which requires more computational and some managerial skills)Oh sorry, I thought it was one.

Int: Okay we think we will wind up.

Me:(Thank God) thank you.

Outside the Interview room

Int: Hey lu, cool man. You need not behave so arrogantly in an interview.

Me:(Oh.. I thought backfiring the arrogance helps.Tough Luck) Yeah thanks, I will inprove next time.

Int: Good luck

Hmm.. thats the end of Solomon Grandy.

Now when I type this it came as a sudden flash, some of heard in hear-say interview experiences. They go below

Int: So, you are interested in automobiles. Tell me the difference between petrol and diesel engines.

Rep: Petrol engine runs on petrol and diesel engine runs on diesel.

(No comments… I wasn’t able to control my laughter for five min when I first heard this)

Situation (Defined : Soft company interview)

Int : So why do want to join our company?

Rep: You know my life ambition is to join a good tech company

(Again no comments…. Seriously man…)

Situation ( Defined : Student has got admitted into Stanford already. It was interview for some high profile company and the interviewer was raping the student from the beginning. Near the close of the interview)

Int: Now that you have answered many questions wrong tell me one good reason why we should hire you?

Rep: Tell me one good reason why I should join you when I have been admitted into Stanford?

(Man One must have guts to say that to an interviewer. Kudos to who ever it was.)

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